It's the end of the semester. My body is decompressing, and fighting off the colds of 130 students that I was exposed to for the last couple of weeks. They were ALL sick, it seemed. In the last 4 days I have gone to a wedding, a birthday party, an engagement party, a movie, a funeral, and Christmas shopping. I still have yet to see my cousin-in-law in the hospital, and that makes me sad. Life, it seems, is all happening right now, at once, in all of its manifestations, in all of its seasons.
Tomorrow is my birthday, then Christmas eve eve...Then Christmas eve, then CHRISTMAS.
I am actually excited about Christmas this year. It's been a long time since I've been truly excited. When you're in the midst of so many family and personal struggles, it's hard to anticipate Christmas...it just comes, and you have those few moments of happiness for the day and its meaning, but it doesn't hold the same magical appeal. The awe is lost in the struggle and the sadness.
This year there is still A LOT going on. It's almost laughable. It seems unreal-- but somehow, this year, I do not feel so burdened. I am not so oppressed. Perhaps some of this levity has to do with experiencing my first Christmas MIRACLE of the season. (It has to do with the journey to the wedding, and that's all I'll say. I'll save my story for when Eli is there too).
Christmas still is coming WAY too FAST, and NOT FAST enough. My house is an explosion of paper, tape, and other wrapping materials. It's a little bit chaotic, but I cannot wait for the Christmas meal, the Christmas game, the gift exchange, the talent show, the baby shower, and the nursing home.
But most of all, I am excited about acknowledging the birth of Christ. 2000+ years later, he's still such a gift to humanity.
