More pathetic fallacy fun!!! LOVE IT!!!

Just say those two little words "Pathetic Fallacy" and I'll know we're kindred spirits

Pathetic Fallacy is my favorite literary device. It's romantic. The universe echoes the wrenching emotions of the heart - if you're in love, lively, and the world is yours; then the universe rewards you with chipper birds, flowers, and spring like weather. If you are in the depths of despair (as Anne Shirley would say), then flowers die; the clouds hang low and heavy in the sky; and a steady weeping rain begins. It's pure catharsis.

Pathetic fallacy also gives everything a voice. A paper cut can shriek out in pain. A piece of paper can be abandoned on the floor. A sunflower can smile warmly at the sun. It's just beautiful.

Life doesn't really work that way though. Some of the most beautiful days were right after Shana died. It seemed mocking and cruel. Elisa said if it were literature, the thematic element we would discuss would be nature's indifference to man. And she could not have been more right.

A friend of mine recently experienced a topsy turvy life experience of her own. The weather was not cooperation, and so we created artificial catharsis - chocolate cupcakes, cheese enchiladas, chips...all those wonderful and extremely sympathetic "c" foods; comfort foods. And though it is ill-advised to eat your feelings on a regular basis - I think it helps just to get through the shock - to indulge in the goodness of life.

Over all of the "c" foods we also had some good conversations. About life, love, boundaries, letting go... It made me consider what ghosts of my past that I've been unable to turn loose. And so I leave refreshed with resolves to leave my ghosts where they belong, to move forward, to let go of the fears that might hinder me, and to move on - ready for what lies ahead. Maybe I was supposed to be helping her, but she may have helped me more. So thank you friend, thank you catharsis, and thank you comfort foods!

12 more days...

So little time left of this school year, yet so much to do, and so many decisions. I'm excited and exhausted. I think I need a constant iv drip of caffeine to keep me going, but I'll find healthier ways of coping.

Spring Fever!

It's hard to be a perfectionistic workaholic when it's so beautiful outside. And perhaps this is a VERY GOOD thing. It's easy to get caught up in the to dos and worries of life...to the point that you forget to enjoy it. My problem is that I often feel guilty if I'm not doing something productive. If I read a book for the sake of building curriculum - fine. If I read a book for my own personal enjoyment, take a walk, or go out and actually do something fun....I feel like I'm slacking on responsibility. I should be grocery shopping, doing laundry, writing a best-selling novel, making lesson plans. Of course I justify in some strange way watching mindless tv or being on facebook for hours on end. These are my ways of quiet rebellion, but perhaps it's because I can also do other things while I do these. I can do laundry and watch tv. I can research lesson plans or work on powerpoints for school while I take intermitent facebook breaks...but to completely let go and enjoy something that's not for anyone else's benefit but my own - that does not come naturally to me. Of course it's a balance. You can't just do what you want all the time...but I think I need to make fun more of a priority in my life.

Jumbled

It's hard to comprehend all that has transpired in the last month, and all that is to come. I'm thankful for a Saturday to sit and let the jumble of thoughts and feelings work themselves out into something that is cohesive, and sensical.

The only thing constant in the world is change!

It's been quite some time since my last post. I keep telling myself, Oh I'll write about this or that...but then I come home, eat, collapse on the couch, and become a potato. Part of it is just the exhaustion of change. In the last month, I've changed jobs - suddenly, abruptly, and wonderfully. It's almost too much to get my head around sometimes, but it's real; it's true; and I'm learning and re-learning some things. The next big change that's coming full speed ahead is: Another move!!! I'm ready for it, I'm praying for timing, and for the transition. God is faithful though. That much I know for sure.

Music that is good for the soul

Though there is so much I could highlight, I shall focus on just one tonight: Fiddler on the Roof.  Every detail…the dancing, the singing, the story…. It’s just so moving every time.  I love taking in each in every moment.  This is one that I MUST see on stage one day.